real life with a 6 week old...

I had to laugh today when I got a text from a friend that said 

"I am officially calling you the worst text-returner ever" 

My cell phone had been dead for 2 days and I didn't even realize it.

Such is life with a 6-week old. I guess.

also, partly because the hubs was home this weekend and we were spending some quality family time... and also partly because he bought me a kendle fire for Christmas and Ive really enjoyed snuggling in bed with my mini-me and stalking facebook and blogs on that instead of my phone.

eitherway, it was humbling. My life is no longer my own. In many ways I have turned into the mother that I swore I wouldn't be. but at the same time I have turned into a better mother than I ever knew I was capable of being. That may only make sense to other mommys, or maybe to no one at all.

my little turtle is such a good baby... eat, sleep, poop, smile, fart, repeat. That is the sum of his life right now. I am spending my maternity leave taking care of him and I am so thankful to have the opportunity to do that... our bond is so special and I LOVE being with him.

It is a little different than I imagined though... bestie always says "I was the best mother before I had kids" or something like that... meaning, you always think you can do it better/have all the answers until you are actually doing it. it has never felt more true. Nothing will bring you to your knees faster than a screaming baby that can't be soothed at 3am, or being told that your breastmilk may not be fatty enough to sustain your baby, or a bout with postpartum depression. I jump at every whimper or coo and I absolutely LIVE for him to smile at me. I always kinda scoffed at the mommy's that said they didn't have time to shower, or would forget to eat because they were so busy. We always said we would never put our baby in bed with us, we would never this or never that. I never understood why their house wouldn't be spotless if their on maternity leave, what else could you possibly be doing? hahaha. I'm on my knees I tell you.

I love my little Durham more than I ever knew was possible... he is such a blessing and we are so thankful to have him in our lives. I now know that being a mommy is different than I anticipated, but it is better. I don't have all the answers, but I know that God will lead me and show us what is best for our little man.

I am taking time to cherish all these moments now, because I know they will not last forever. He is already growing up so fast... I just wanna keep him in this sling a little longer...sweet baby durham.