Tuesday, November 15, 2011

week 38

to catch you up: the baby is still inside.

I know you guys were starting to wonder... haha. 
Thanks for the emails, but baby Durham is still snug as a bug in my belly.
As we get closer, it feels like every time I call someone they think I'm calling to tell them I'm in labor. nope. not yet. 

I do have quite an update for you...

I went today for our weekly (38 weeks to be exact) appointment and my first internal exam. My usual dr. was out on a delivery so I saw another dr. in the practice that I had not met before. Our initial visit went something like this...
dr: wow, how much weight have you gained?
me: about 25 lbs
dr: really? Your belly looks way to big to be 38 weeks.
me: really? It does feel big, but I've only been measuring a week ahead every other week or so...
dr: (feels around on the outside of my belly trying to check for Durhams position and then does the internal check of my uterus... ouch) well, you are closed and very very high. I can hardly reach your uterus it's so high.
me: oh gawd, don't say that! I was really hoping to be progressing!!
dr: I am gonna send you for an ultrasound to measure the baby and check for position.
me: ok. (proceed to throw up in my mouth a little)

So, I head over to the ultrasound wing, and wait, and wait, and wait. The tech was super nice showing me everything. his arms, his legs, his heart, his kidneys. Everything looked great. We couldn't see his face because he was backwards facing my spine, but I'm sure he is just an adorable mini-version of the hubs. He is measuring big, at 9lbs 1oz (however, ultrasound measurements can sometimes be a lb off) and he is in fact BREECH.

When I heard this, I was shocked. We have not had an ultrasound since our 23 week scan, but I have been told all along that he was head down. They feel my belly at every appointment to confirm, and I have had no indication otherwise. At this point, I was sent back down to see the dr. again to discuss our "options".

I'll keep it short, I'm not trying to educate anyone here, just share my experience...

basically he said that we could try the external cephalic version (which has about a 50% success rate in weeks 35-37 and with a normal size baby) but that because Durham is already 38 weeks and much bigger, he thinks the success rate of that would be about 10%... there are also some other more natural ways to get him to turn... music at the pelvis, flashlight, cold at the top of the belly and warm at the bottom, the pelvic tilt (just google and you can find videos of everything) and believe me, we will be trying them all... but for now, 

we are scheduled to have our BIG baby boy 
on December 1st via c-section.

I spent the day today mourning the medicated vaginal birth I had been imaging for the past 9  months. C-section had never even entered my mind. I am still overwhelmed by how different everything seems now... no "surprise honey, my water broke" phone calls to the hubs, no mothers/bffs in the delivery room, no photos... the recovery will be much different too. Something I am not sure I have even wrapped my mind around yet.

Don't get me wrong... we are THRILLED that he is a healthy baby, and I know that there was a reason that my normal dr. was in delivery today... I was meant to be seen by someone new. I am glad to have this information early and not have everything thrust at me while in active labor.

I posted this verse on my facebook page today... and I am trying to remind myself that MY plans are not always the plans that God has for me. His plans are better. His plans are right. His plans will eventually rock my face off (even if it does not feel like it right now).
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I am sharing this experience because this is why I blog... to remember. To create a path of memories that will take me back to a specific time, that when I read these words again I will feel them. The excitement and joy of the pending arrival of our first baby, the anticipation, the pain, the heartache. But also, today I am sharing because I need support. I need prayers. I would love to hear from other momma's that have been through a similar experience. Advice? Love? I'll take it.