Thursday, April 25, 2013

crimson clovers

I don't know where anything is. I'm lucky to know how to get to target and back. everyone makes fun of us because we don't usually venture past jonesboro road. we don't go out to eat in atlanta, we don't venture out. we stay close to home. I like it that way.

bestie knew of this awesome clover field.
in the country.
like way past jonesboro road.

we packed up the kids and rode down there. a little too early for the yummy light, but we had a great time playing momtogs and making memories with the littles. most of these are pictures ra took. pretty much if you like it- she took it. but I watermarked them all mine so jankey people don't copy them and claim our cute kids as their own. 

it is such a treat to have pictures of the two of us together. this one is my very favorite. this is so us right now. durham is 16 months and a total momma's baby. he is always clutching to me and wanting me. I love his little smirk. I love the crimson clovers. and I love my new distressed jeans that make me feel 25. ::wink::

He is talking to me.

do you ever get that feeling. the one where you just KNOW someone is talking about you...
 you can feel it. like words are burning into your ears.
or where you think someone is watching you... 
you turn around and look behind you 5 times on your walk from the grocery store to your car because you just KNOW someone is watching you.
do you ever feel the need to justify your actions...
(whether it be food choices, parenting techniques or just the fact that you look like a bucket of hott mess that hasn't showed in 2 days) because you just KNOW someone is judging you.

I've been feeling like that a lot lately. But the person who is talking about me, and watching me, and juding me... is me. and God has been talking to me about it. He has been showing me through my relationships, through my mommy board, and thru blogs that I read. He has been showing me that we are all struggling. we are all fighting our own battles. we are all doing our best and to do anything other than lift up and support other moms (or dads, but I'm talking about myself here) is just lame.

I'm not a writer. so I'm not even going to try to explain how my heart has been changed over the past 2 weeks. I'll let these blog links speak for themselves. Ashley Ann from Under the Sycamore wrote the post that rocked me to my core. I think I've used the phrase "I'm a fan of moms" about 23894837 times since I first read this. I forwarded it to bestie at 3am, and we have talked about it several times since then. I re-read it the next day, I posted it on my mommy board and we started talking. one particular quote was brought up "the more you judge others the more you feel judged". I had never heard that before. Then yesterday bestie sent me a text to check out kelle's blog post 'everyone seems to be talking about the same thing' she said. (Kelle Hampton Enjoying the small things this post) and that is when I knew. He was talking to me.