Tuesday, November 15, 2011

week 38

to catch you up: the baby is still inside.

I know you guys were starting to wonder... haha. 
Thanks for the emails, but baby Durham is still snug as a bug in my belly.
As we get closer, it feels like every time I call someone they think I'm calling to tell them I'm in labor. nope. not yet. 

I do have quite an update for you...

I went today for our weekly (38 weeks to be exact) appointment and my first internal exam. My usual dr. was out on a delivery so I saw another dr. in the practice that I had not met before. Our initial visit went something like this...
dr: wow, how much weight have you gained?
me: about 25 lbs
dr: really? Your belly looks way to big to be 38 weeks.
me: really? It does feel big, but I've only been measuring a week ahead every other week or so...
dr: (feels around on the outside of my belly trying to check for Durhams position and then does the internal check of my uterus... ouch) well, you are closed and very very high. I can hardly reach your uterus it's so high.
me: oh gawd, don't say that! I was really hoping to be progressing!!
dr: I am gonna send you for an ultrasound to measure the baby and check for position.
me: ok. (proceed to throw up in my mouth a little)

So, I head over to the ultrasound wing, and wait, and wait, and wait. The tech was super nice showing me everything. his arms, his legs, his heart, his kidneys. Everything looked great. We couldn't see his face because he was backwards facing my spine, but I'm sure he is just an adorable mini-version of the hubs. He is measuring big, at 9lbs 1oz (however, ultrasound measurements can sometimes be a lb off) and he is in fact BREECH.

When I heard this, I was shocked. We have not had an ultrasound since our 23 week scan, but I have been told all along that he was head down. They feel my belly at every appointment to confirm, and I have had no indication otherwise. At this point, I was sent back down to see the dr. again to discuss our "options".

I'll keep it short, I'm not trying to educate anyone here, just share my experience...

basically he said that we could try the external cephalic version (which has about a 50% success rate in weeks 35-37 and with a normal size baby) but that because Durham is already 38 weeks and much bigger, he thinks the success rate of that would be about 10%... there are also some other more natural ways to get him to turn... music at the pelvis, flashlight, cold at the top of the belly and warm at the bottom, the pelvic tilt (just google and you can find videos of everything) and believe me, we will be trying them all... but for now, 

we are scheduled to have our BIG baby boy 
on December 1st via c-section.

I spent the day today mourning the medicated vaginal birth I had been imaging for the past 9  months. C-section had never even entered my mind. I am still overwhelmed by how different everything seems now... no "surprise honey, my water broke" phone calls to the hubs, no mothers/bffs in the delivery room, no photos... the recovery will be much different too. Something I am not sure I have even wrapped my mind around yet.

Don't get me wrong... we are THRILLED that he is a healthy baby, and I know that there was a reason that my normal dr. was in delivery today... I was meant to be seen by someone new. I am glad to have this information early and not have everything thrust at me while in active labor.

I posted this verse on my facebook page today... and I am trying to remind myself that MY plans are not always the plans that God has for me. His plans are better. His plans are right. His plans will eventually rock my face off (even if it does not feel like it right now).
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I am sharing this experience because this is why I blog... to remember. To create a path of memories that will take me back to a specific time, that when I read these words again I will feel them. The excitement and joy of the pending arrival of our first baby, the anticipation, the pain, the heartache. But also, today I am sharing because I need support. I need prayers. I would love to hear from other momma's that have been through a similar experience. Advice? Love? I'll take it.



Laura K said...

Pamcakes, everything is going to be fine. Nothing is what we want it to be, but what God has planned for us. And His plan is always better. I will pray for a fast recovery for you and can't wait to see photos of your beautiful baby. And btw, you really are all belly.


Debbie Lowe said...

Pam, You are truly an inspiration. You will be an amazing mom, and what a great story you've created to share with Durham...I know your parents are bursting with pride of what a beautiful daughter, strong daughter, and creative daughter you are! You'll continue to be in our prayers, that you and Durham will share so much love, along with daddy of course!! XXOO Debbie

Mommara said...

I love you so much. Seriously, and I am mourning the "normal" delivery you hoped for. I am praying for it. I am also praying for peace. For the excitement to overwhelm you even if it is planned and you go in with perfect hair and make up and look amazing in your post birth pictures. (Lord knows mine looked more like a train wreck!) Hey, a third check in that side of the paper!!! I was crying with you earlier as I listened to your fears and I will cry tears of joy either way when your little man decides to join us. You and Chris are awesome. This whole thing will be just perfect. I promise. MOVIES!!!

Lindsey @ The Hill House said...

Thinking of you and praying that everything goes well. Wishing you the best!!

Holly said...

Everything will be okay... This will be a lot easier for you and Durham. I am so happy that next Friday is the big day for your family!! :)

Tish said...

Hey Pammy. Love & prayers to you guys! You can do this thing! The recovery from the c-section is rough, but managable. It's not ideal, but, from my experience . . . you can get through whatever you gotta get through because what you get in the end of it is beautiful. <3

KLaw said...

We went through something similar. They wouldn't let me deliver S vaginally because of his size, so we scheduled the c section. But being on the other side of it, I can tell you that I am glad we did. It'll work out the way its intended. Best wishes to you and that sweet baby boy!

Anonymous said...

I wish you the best of luck Pam and my prayers and thoughts will definitely be with you all the way and for little Durham. I haven't experienced a c-section before but I am so on board with you when you say God knows what He's doing and we can't always see the big picture but when we do it's incredible! No matter what we are just so excited to see that new big baby boy and hold and squeeze his little cheeks! And I have to say he sure picked a heck of a day to make sure he makes his appearance on my "30" birthday...I'll share it with him! Love you guys! Hannah

Michele said...

I went through labor with my first baby and had a scheduled c-section with my second. I had two c-sections with my boys because they were so big. Will was 9lbs 7ozs (a week late) and Ben was 9lbs and 6ozs (a week early). The recovery was okay from each c-section, a little rough the first day, but the pain meds helped. I also accepted help from my husband, nurses family and friends. Honestly, the recovery was pretty quick for me. I don't want to give you unrealistic expectations, but I was up and about (slowly) once I got home. The joy of being a new mommy helped overcome the pain. I'll keep you and baby Durham in my thoughts and prayers. Reply to my comment if you have any questions or need a pep talk. Praying for you!

Jenn said...

So Thursday is the BIG day!! How exciting!! I had to have an unexpected c-section with Bellamy, and like KLaw said and text me the night before Bellamy was born, it will be okay and I wouldn't change the way it all happened!! Love and prayers to you, your husband, and your Durham!! Congrats!!

If you want to read about Bellamy's c-section and my 411 on c-sections here is the link...

XOXO from Ohio

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