I don't really count his age in weeks, but I had today bookmarked as a milestone.
Today Durham is 38 weeks old. When I was 38 weeks pregnant, we went to our weekly appointment and found out that our fatty-fatty inside baby was not going to be coming into the world the way we had planned. He was breech, sunny side up and measuring 10lbs. The doctor said we needed to schedule a c-section because it was best for him (and me) and so we did... one week from that day, at 39 weeks pregnant, we welcomed our little miracle into the world.
For some reason, 38 weeks has always held onto me. The last part of his pregnancy was a whirlwind of swollen feet, long busy christmas shifts at work, chinese food, and worry. I let myself go crazy about the c-section. I let fret, worry, anxiety, fear and googling overtake my mind. I didn't enjoy that last week of just me & him, the easy stuff like feeding him without even thinking about it, and sheltering him from the cold and germs of the world.... safe inside my tummy. I should have let-go and let-God take care of us... but I didn't. I hope that with our next baby (I'm not pregnant, calm down) I will look back and remember what I wish I would have done. How I wish I would have reacted to our situation....
I didn't mean to get all debbie-downer... just wanted to journal what I'm feeling today. Thankful for our sweet baby boy who is now almost as old on the outside as he was on the inside. and reminiscent of what we learned on this day 38 weeks ago... that although you think you have it all planned out, God always wins. Bo-ya!
